My Experiences With Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome has been written about a lot in the tech industry. It exists everywhere, but having a phrase associated with it makes it easier to talk about and contextualize. I think imposter syndrome is exacerbated by unicorn culture too.

But here I am right now, working on vacation, on a portfolio I’ve neglected for 8 years, feeling quite inadequate in both design and development. I look at javascript and react and the headless future and can’t find myself in it. I look at the interaction designers and prototype wizards, the design system gurus and the cutting edge WEBGL sites and I see myself in the shadows. And so I work to try and overcome the inadequacy, but as I churn and dedicate myself further to my craft I realize that this cycle is unsustainable. It’s impossible to be everything all the time.

I write this to reinforce it to myself. I can’t be everything all of the time; Trying to reach that impossible goal actually distracts from the things I can improve on in the short-term and obfuscates what I can achieve in the long-term.

Making this portfolio has been a joy, a reminder of how much fun it is to turn something you designed in your free time into something tangible. Having a place to write and share is very important to me. I feel better writing this even though I may look back and feel embarassment at the words I’ve written. But to face embarrassment is what it means to grow.